Now that I'm free to be myself, who am I?

Thank you Mary Oliver for the quote that inspired this post.

Now that I am free to be myself

Today has been such a great day to be a human being! I feel as though I am truly connected to my place in the world and helping myself become the best version of myself. I truly am grateful for everything that I’ve had in my life to get me right here.

I was looking at my advice for my 27th year around the sun and it was so interesting how something about the stars knew that this year would bring me so much change- not only physically but emotionally as well. I really did pick up my belongings, only what I could carry and move. I lost a really good friend but I think we can have our friendship work in the future, we needed space to be able to be our best selves. Unfortunately, our relationship wasn’t as good as our friendship was- we learned the hard way. I also have been becoming best friends with myself, I truly am such an amazing person and I put a lot of hard work to get to where I am today.

I met with a doctor this morning and knew that she needed me in her life, after 5 minutes we were talking about her healing journey and what she’s been doing to get there. This happens to me a lot, I tend to find myself around people who are going through similar things that I’ve overcome. It’s so amazing to see how comfortable people are with me almost immediately. They don’t let me know what their trauma is per say, but that they know I am a safe space to rest their head, talk about their problems. And it really helps me feel less lonely when I am able to open up to people about their problems and share about what I think for them.

Who am I?

This is such a great question, who the heck am I? I think that is something that we get to decide every day.

The things that are consistent about me across each day is that I am a lover and a healer first and foremost. I really feel like I take the time to leave my arms open and am a good shoulder to be for people.

I know some days I can be filled with inner rage, some days I am sad. There is no bad emotion. We need to feel them all in order to feel like a complete human. Some days, some days are really fucking hard. Some days like today- no matter what is in my way I feel unstoppable!

There have been things today that could have gotten me down or sunk back into myself; however, since I have become more and more of my best friend I know exactly what to do to pick myself up. I woke up on the right side of the bed today too!

I have been journaling less because I am actually talking to myself a lot more and talking through my problems. Now my journal is more about what happened today. Anything that is not noted on my calendar gets put in there, or anything that I may have talked about in therapy, etc.

Now that I am free to be myself after all of these years, I am choosing to be my best version of myself. My happiest version of myself. No matter if people do not believe my story, my struggles, I know the truth, my truth and what other people do not want to believe, that is on them.